Stop me if you've heard this one … So, this hipster-hippie walks into a bar… and completely loses his eco-loving, beer-drinking, sausage-craving mind. It's a pretty surreal experience your first time (as I must admit, it was for me) … tap-upon-tap of carefully selected California craft-brews line the bar, a mass of fellow lively GRUB-patrons are deep into conversation, having a laugh, and playing a game of battle ship (don't worry … I'll explain later) … and the real kicker that gets my mouth a-flooding … a seriously-sinful-list of gourmet sausages and ultra-indulgent toppings to choose from. And so without further ado, we bring to you … Tony's Darts Away … my new home for happiness. I mean, is there really anything better than beer and sausages … and board games? Yeah, I said it. I don't know about you … but it really takes me back to my childhood. A pint of Russian River IPA in my one hand, a smoked bratwurst topped with picked jalapenos in the other … all while trying to figure out if the battleship is under B4 or G7 … (Side note: I just spent about two minutes trying to spell the noise you make when you hit the ship … only to stumble upon this little gem of a message board … I'm going with "Pckchuuu!" Damn, isn't the internet so … unnecessary?). And what is better than a little kid playing Candy Land and Hungry Hungry Hippos at a bar? I don't know about you, but I have a special infatuation with the triple H. I just love to think of some executive board room at Board Game USA, Inc. where one brave soul throws out, "What about Hungry Hungry Hippos?" … the room stays still for a moment, and then the one slow clap turns into a room of exuberant celebration, that spills into the whole office … he's hoisted up onto someone's shoulders and the forming mob breaking into a thunderous chant, "Anderson! Anderson!"… Someone pops up from a cubicle … "What happened?" … "Damn … Anderson's done it. Freaking genius … Hungry Hungry Hippos" … But I digress to the GRUB … and some serious GRUB at that. At Tony's you get to pick from a list of "vegan-friendly" or "you're-actually-a-man" sausage options (that's just a jab at my Veggie-wife … I don't think that vegans are not manly … I just think they are girly) I went for the aforementioned smoked bratwurst (safe, conservative … delicious) and matched it up with the "fennel and asiago" (I too like to live … dangerously … especially when it's from Austin Powers and in … I'm going to say German? …. Watch at least until they hit "Oprah" … pure gold). But your pick of encased meat is only the beginning of your voyage down the river-GRUB. Now here's the fun part, you get to load your puppy up with two small toppings … between the two dogs we went for housemaid ketchup, roasted garlic paste, emerald mustard, and basil aioli … and two big toppings … again, we split up our picks between slow-grilled peppers, frizzled onions, and pickled jalapenos. There were many others to choose from … but I'm not going to lie … I was a little overwhelmed. Like a deer in the GRUB-lights, I just wanted to get my order in so badly so that I could move on to step two … enjoying said sausage. And that my friend is an understatement. I love this place. The sausages themselves were overwhelmingly delicious … juicy with the perfect amount of pop … but the toppings took it to a whole other level. Let's just say I'm naming pickled jalapenos in my will … they are my true love. I paired it all up with some of their sweet potato fries which come topped in some sort of sweet, honey-like glaze … an amazing side dish… or main course … or screw it, a pretty damn good desert. Everything was unreal, so much so, I think this might be the quickest re-GRUB in … um … Good GRUB history? I can't wait to try the other topping options … I almost hurt my buddy Mark … you know, just throw a dart in his shoulder or something … to get to his blue cheese and bacon topped creation. But that's what's great about this beer heaven … it's an environmentally friendly (think no glass bottles and recyclable materials), un-pretentious , small-spot-neighborhood-vibe at Tony's. And I don't know about you, but I'm already looking for my keys. So enjoy a pint, dig into some food, and soak in all that Tony has to offer … just make sure you realize where you are … GRUBBER's Paradise.
